


I think I better go

by Adalines_fifth



Category: Happiest Season (2020)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, F/F, Feelings, Heartbreak, Kissing, Makeup, Mild Smut, Rewrite
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:54:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27737212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adalines_fifth/pseuds/Adalines_fifth
Summary: Rewrite on the break up with my original post break up ideas with eventual happy ending.
Relationships: Harper Caldwell/Abby Holland
Comments: 15
Kudos: 270





	1. Chapter 1

AB POV

Abby watched as Harper laughed flirtatiously and gave Connor a squeeze on the arm. 

The sound around her started to drown out as she watched the love of her life shamelessly flirt with her ex-boyfriend. Her chest began to rise and fall harder as anger settled in her chest and almost suffocated her. 

Abby was hurt and she was tired, she wasn't gonna fight Harper but she wasn't gonna stand by either so she would remove herself from the scene.

With her heart pounding in her ears and a sinking feeling in her stomach Abby made her way across to Harper.

Harper looked at her with a reminent smile from whatever amazing story Connor was telling and that sealed it for Abby.

"It's over. I'm done."

Abby the turned and headed quickly to her guest room in the basement and grabbed a bag she'd already packed earlier in the day when she was looking at rides. She then left the room and headed towards the back door not wanting to alarm Harper's family and get interrogated.

She sent a quick text to John telling him to meet her outside by his car.

-  
HA POV

Harper felt as if someone had poured a bucket of ice water with needles in it all over her. Her stomach sank and she felt her heart begin to race. She turned to her friends who all were looking at her with concern, it was obvious what "it's over. I'm done." Meant. She'd been broken up with.

Harper mumbled an incoherent excuse and made her way towards Abby's room. She couldn't hide the feeling of dread on her face and she could tell everyone saw it.

Fuck. Fuck. fuck. Was all Harper could think as she made her way through the crowded rooms. Her stomach felt as if it was falling off a building. Her eyes searched frantically over the rooms she walked into to see if she could spot the shorter blonde woman.

"Harper, honey. Come over here, I want you to come meet the head of my speech department." Said Harper's father as his colleagues watched her with charming smiles.

"I-I just need to take care of something r-right now..." Said Harper as she tried to head towards the guest room, clearing her throat as she tried to keep the emotion out of it.

"Nonsense, come over. You can take care of whatever else you have to do after." Said Mister Caldwell as he ushered Harper into his colleagues.

Harper looked back at the hall one last time. She felt awful, she needed to talk to Abby.

Her father began to introduce her to everyone standing around them, she gave them brief curt smiles. Her eyes were void of any genuine interest of what was going on. Her mind was stuck on Abby, she kept seeing the moment where Abby said they were done.

Harper glanced at her clock where she saw the time, it was 8:35pm. 

She watched as everyone around her laughed and drank, everything was muffled in her ears. She couldn't focus on faces or voices, let alone follow the conversation.

Harper kept on smiling and nodding, laughing when need be, although unconvincingly. Everyone was too caught up in their selves to even notice. Harper began to grow frustrated as her father continued to make small talk and talk about some inspirational anecdotes.

Haper glanced at the clock again where she saw the time it was 9:15 already. Harper's eyes widen, it'd been 40 minutes already. She knew she had to see Abby.

"Excuse me, I really need to take care of something. Said Harper trying to leave quickly, she felt her father grab ahold of her hand to keep her put.

"Harper, wait. We're just getting started." Said Mister Caldwell as he adressed their peers.

"I've gotta go!" Said Harper a little more abrutly making the people around them look at them, leaving their own exclusive conversations.

"I'm sorry, but it's work." Said Harper trying to smooth things over.

"Honey, why didn't you just say that. Work's important, go." Said Mister Caldwell as her turned back to their peers.

Harper began to breath heavily and she felt her throat constricting painfully and she held back the urge to cry. She felt a pang in her chest when she reached the bottom step and saw the door opened wide.

Harper despite knowing that Abby wasn't there she still hastily walked inside. Only to be caught by surprise to see all Abby's things gone. A part of her wanted to believe that Abby hadn't meant it and had just left to clear her head or get space.

Harper noticed one of Abby's blouses just under the bedside. Harper picked it up and brought it up to her nose and let a sob escape her as Abby's scent brought memories of her sweet shy smile, tears rolled down her cheek as she sobbed inconsolably into the shirt.

After a while of crying she brought her phone out and began to dial Abby's phone. She brought it up to her ear and tried to compose herself enough to talk. The emotion was evident regardless of her attempts.

The phone rang once before it was sent to voicemail. Harper hung up and let out a frustrated whine as she dialed again. This time it rung twice and was sent to voicemail again. 

Harper decided to leave a message in hopes Abby would hear it and call her. She waited as Abby's voicemail began to play, she closed her eyes as she heard the recording play 'Hey, it's Abby. I'm busy right now, leave a message and I'll get back asap'. Then there was the beep.

"Hey...uhmm...I'm c-calling because we need to t-talk this over, Abby. I came downstairs and you're not here. Can you p-please tell me where you are? I'll get you. Pls call me back" finished Harper as she hung up and waited for anything.

After a few seconds Harper called again and again and again aaaand....again. all the calls were sent straight to voicemail. Harpers last messages were lacking any sort of self reservation or shame. She'd sobbed, whimpered, pleaded and even hiccuped.

Harper glanced at the clock and it was 11:55pm. Harper felt like she was loosing her mind, she was trying to think of anywhere where Abby might be. It was then that she remembered what John had taught her.

-  
AB POV

John and Abby were at a park just outisde of town, they had to stop so Abby could get some air after she began to break down in the car.

They sat in some swings just swaying softly.

"So what happened?" Asked John.

It took Abby a second or two to push the words put of her throat.

"Where to start..." Said Abby laughing, the laugh was dry and void of any glee. It was a cynical laugh.

"She was caugh up in family affairs, they loved her ex-boyfriend who kept being invited for every damn gathering and then she started distancing herself from me after hanging out till 2am drinking with him..." Said Abby with anger in her voice as she stared at the ground.

"She said she needed distance from me...that I was suffo-" said Abby cutting herself off trying yo contain the sob that threatened to rip out of her. Tears rolled down her cheek as she got off the swing and took a few steps away from John trying to control herself.

"Hey, how about I buy us a bottle of Vodka? There's a store a few blocks from here, you can sob your heart out while I'm gone" said John from behind Abby.

Abby gave him an actual laugh, even if it was sad.

"That actually sounds amazing." Said Abby as she looked back at him. "You're an amazing friend." Said Abby.

"If your friends aren't there for you; they're not your friends, Abby." Said John kissing her goodbye.

"Stay away from the freaks!" Shouted John as he left.

Abby made her way to the swings where she began to sob softly. She couldn't take the situation, but that didn't mean the remedy was better than the disease.

Her heart felt like it'd been ripped out. She was spiraling into a sea of pain when heart sank after hearing someone call her name.

"Abby!" Shouted harper a few yards away from her as she stood under a light post.

Abby turned to see Harper looking at her, her face puffy from crying.


	2. "Please, don't go."

As soon as Abby saw Harper she got up and began to walk, she wanted to be anywhere, but here.

"Wait! Please!" Called out Harper as she ran behind Abby. 

"What, Harper?" Said Abby turning around while shaking Harper's grip on her arm.

"Please. Please, I just wanna talk. Can we talk?" Said Harper stretching her arms out trying to calm Abby down. 

"There's nothing to talk about, Harper." Said Abby avoiding Harper's gaze.

"Why didn't you tell me you went shopping with Riley?" Asked Harper, her words quivering.

"Are you kidding me, Harper?" Asked Abby in complete disbelief, her tone was that of outrage.

"What the hell did you do with Connor till 2am that made you need space from me the morning after, huh?" Said Abby her voice rising with anger.

"We didn't do anything, I swear. Nothing happened." Said Harper trying to get a hold of Abby's hand only to have her pull her hands away.

Harper felt the rejection like stabs to her heart. Abby wasn't believing her, Harper could tell by the look in her eyes that she was losing her. Although she intendedly created this situation, she didn't cheat on Abby.

"Bullshit." Said Abby looking at her in the eyes for the first time since she'd found her.

Harper couldn't help, but to flinch at Abby's harsh words.

"You couldn't keep your damn hands off him at the party." Said Abby turning around again and walking away.

As angry as Abby was, she was hurt by the look on Harper's face after she'd called her out. She just wanted to go home and cry till she had no tears left. These past few days had consumed much of her.

"That's rich coming from you, after you and Riley were making googly eyes at each other. You couldn't give me the time of day, but were getting her drinks." Said Harper angrily. This wasn't what she came over to do, but she was already too far. Her mind was foggy with hurt.

Abby began to laugh at Harper's audacity.

"What you did, Harper...is not going over the line. It's forgetting the line even fucking existed." Said Abby gesturing wildly. As she did something fell out of blazer's pocket.

They both looked at the little brown box, just perfectly between them.

Harper leaned down before Abby could and held the box up, after a beat she snapped it open to reveal the ring.

Harper's face dawned with realization as she looked up at Abby, her eyes began to well up and her lip quivered.

"Is this for me?" Asked Harper her voice breaking.

Abby looked at her and it shattered her heart. She cleared her throat wanting to only say this once.

"...was." Said Abby taking the box out of Harper's hands softly.   
-  
The moment was fragile and delicate. Both women stood facing each other, but unable to look up. They felt broken.

"I-I...think I better go." Said Harper sounding very small. Her brows were drawn in together and her big bright eyes were pink and brimming with tears.

Harper turned and began to make her way to her car. Her heart was shattered, she ruined everything. She lost the love of her life just because she was afraid aned jealous.

She couldn't stop the sobs that wracked her body as she walked away from Abby.

Abby swallowed thickly as she heard the cries. She was rigid, she wanted to reach out to her. What would that do though? What would that fix and who would that help?

Abby ran a hand through her hair as she watched Harper leave. She bit her lip as tears rolled down her cheeks.

"Oh, shit. Was that harper?" Asked John holding a bottle wrapped in a brown bag.

Abby just watched Harper speed off even driving over the sidewalk.  
-  
*1 month later*

Harper had gotten a message from Abby a couple of days ago saying she'd be by the apartment to pick up a few things.

Harper responded with a simple "ok".

It was 2pm and Harper was already on her third glass of champagne. She felt her stomach dropping every second that went by, Abby had texted her around 12pm that she'd be around the apartment at 2 to 2:15.

It felt unreal that Abby was coming over, although Harper knew she was just getting her stuff.

Harper was pouring her fourth glass when a buzzer resonated in her apartment along with Abby's voice.

"Can you buzz me in?" Asked Abby from the front door.

Harper quickly hit the buzzer, she then looked around her apartment making sure it was in tip top shape. Her inspection was cut short when she heard a knock at the door.

She almost ran to the door, when she reached for the knob she noticed that her hands were shaking. After taking a few deep breaths Harper opened up.

By their micro expressions it was easy to tell they were not ready to see each other, but they'd act. As most people in these situations do. They stood there like fish out of water, the air was heavy and both women realized that there were still things to be said. 

"Sorry, for dropping by like this..." said Abby looking at Harper anxiously, their eyes met like they were strangers. "Can I come in?" Said Abby gesturing behind Harper. "I just need to get my stuff and I'll be out of your hair." Said Abby nervously tucking her hair behind her ear.

Harper noticed Abby was thinner.

"Uh...yeah, of course. Sorry." Said Harper stepping to the side. Making sure to keep her distance from Abby, not wanting to make her uncomfortable. 

Harper had to admit that the stone that settled in her stomach as soon as she saw Abby was making her feel sick. Was the room suddenly colder?

"Can i get your coat?" Asked Harper already reaching for the coat already.

"Uh, sure." Said Abby shrugging off the coat, as she handed the coat to Harper their hands touched. Abby quickly pulled back and she then began to walk to the center of the living room.

Abby stood in the living room looking at Harper expectently, Harper watched her confused as she hung the coat on the rack and noticed how Abby's eyes shifted towards the bedroom.

"Is it okay if I go into the room?" Asked Abby her eyes shifting from Harper's eyes to the floor.

Harper closed her eyes as she mentally chastised herself, Abby was far too manered to just barge into her exes house.

"Yeah, of course." Said Harper gesturing towards the room. "I'm just gonna go to the kitchen and get a drink, would you like one?" Asked Harper as she made her way across the living room.

"Yeah, a drink sounds good." Said Abby from the bedroom.  
-

Abby walked into the room and headed towards the closet. She was looking for some of her college text books and some materials.

Most of her things were picked up by John after she got back around after Christmas, but he was out of the town for a few days and she needed these things... she's been telling herself.

Abby walked in and noticed that the box was in the top shelf, which only Harper could reach. The box was normally on the floor so it was accessible to her. She couldn't help but scoff as she realized she needed Harper.

-

Harper stood in kitchen with her eyes shut, the drinks were already poured. She'd placed the box far from where Abby could reach in hopes of having her ask for help. 

She knew it was stupid, but she wanted her to stay just a bit longer. She knew it was selfish, but Abby was the one for her and she'd lost her.

"Please... please... please..." Whispered Harper from the kitchen below her breath.

"Harper! Can you come in here?" Shouted Abby from the bedroom.

There it was.  
-

Abby had her back turned when she Harper walk in. Before she could turn around she was caught by surprise when she felt Harper place her hand on her waist and press into her backside.

Abby closed her eyes as she felt her heart begin to race, she swallowed heavily as she felt Harper's mouth press against her ear.

"Please, don't go."


	3. "I've missed you"

"Harper..." Said Abby, it was a warning with no threat and Harper knew it.

Abby heard Harper swallow thickly and her breath come out shaky. Before she came over to the apartment Abby knew this could happen, she'd honestly hoped for it. 

"I know you were trying to keep appearances for your family, but why did you intentionally want to hurt me by flirting with Connor?" Said Abby not moving from the position they were in. Not wanting to see any traces of confusion over Harper's face, something that might tell her that Harper wanted Connor.

"I was angry and jealous." Said Harper with no hesitation. 

Abby hadn't expectes that answer, it took her by surprise. She wasn't sure what Harper was jealous about.

"Jealous of who?" Asked Abby this time turning around to face the taller woman, she noticed that Harper was blushing and her lips were red.

"O-of you and Riley." Said Harper crossing her arms over her chest, her expression was growing into a frown.

"What do you mean?" Asked Abby trying to remain in control even though she was honestly insulted after Harper was the one who was surrounded by exes.

"While you were getting your elephant gift I was helping Jane with some things for the party, I saw you walking along with Riley laughing...like how you laugh with me." Said Harper, she was nervously touching her hands as she continued. "It was just after I idiotically asked you for space, I knew you thought there was something between me and Connor, so I thought you had run into Riley's arms." Said Harper exasperated. She still didn't know what had transpired between the women and it still ate at her.

Abby blinked a few times as she recalled how Harper had changed tones with her after having aked if they could talk after the party. She'd seen Riley and her together.

"So that's why you were shooting daggers at me wih your eyes and when you saw me and Riley together at the party..." Said Abby letting out a frustrated sigh.

"Yeah..." Said Harper softly.

"Did you do anything with Connor?" Asked Abby her voice was strained, it took effort to ask specially when she was afraid of yhe answer.

"No, I swear. Nothing ever happened between us." Said Harper as she looked into Abby's eyes, Abby knew her enough to know that she wasn't lying.

Abby couldn't help the tears that rolled down her cheeks. She wiped them away quickly feeling like an idiot. She'd missed Harper like a limb, she was ready to marry her before everything got so messed up. Feelings like that didn't just disappear, they haunted her 

"Did you and Riley...?" Asked Harper not looking up from her lap. Abby could tell she was just as scared as knowing as she'd been a moment ago.

"Never." Said Abby simply.

Abby watched as Harper's eyes shut close in relief. Harper then sat at the edge of the bed, after a moment she looked up at Abby and reached for her waist pulling her till she was standing between her legs.

"I'm sorry for a the pain I caused you, you're the last person I'd ever want to hurt." Said Harper her words coming out with a sharp edge of emotion. She was doing her best not to break down.

"You're everything to me, Abby." Said Harper as she looked up at Abby, both women's eyes overflowing with tears. "If you would give me another chance, I swear on my life that I won't ever hurt you like that again. I can't sleep, eat or think without you." Said Harper as she waited for Abby to leave or stay.

Harper knew how amazing Abby was, she knew she'd made a huge mistake pushing Abby away and letting her go. It was Abby's choice now, Harper would accept whatever Abby decided.  
-  
Abby looked down at Harper's bright sad eyes and made her choice.

She leaned down and captured Harper's mouth in a kiss that said "I've missed you".

Harper immediately pulled Abby down onto her lap and kissed her fiercely as she whimpered softly into the kiss. Harper felt like she could breathe again, though she knew things wouldn't be like before for now. She couldn't take back what happened or erase it. 

"God... I missed you." Whispered Abby against her lips.

"I've missed you too, so much baby..." Whispered Harper as she peppered kisses on her cheeks and down her neck.

Harper pulled back to look into Abby's eyes, Abby looked back at her with a heavy look in her eyes and Harper's breath caught in her throat.

She'd seen that look many times, she'd last seen it a couple of days before Christmas.

Harper reached behind Abby and ran a hand over her lower back and watched as Abby unconsciously squirmed. 

"What is it?" Asked Abby puffing out a breath.

"I want you."


	4. "Don't make me wait."

Dec.26 

Harper pulled into her parents drive way, she swallowed thickly as a thick stream of tears cotinued down her cheeks into the collar of her turtle neck. She clutched her chest as a sob tore its way out of her throat.

It was way passed midnight, Harper's heart was destroyed, she was freezing and she really needed a drink. Harper got out the car and noticed the porch lights were on.

She rolled her eyes knowing very well what was going to ensue as soon as she walked in. Her face was swollen from crying and she could not stop the tears from coming. So she decided she'd face whatever came head on, she was tired and she couldn't act anymore.

Harper made up the steps and walked into the house where to her surprise was not only her parents there, but also her sister's.

"Oh, honey. What happened?" Asked her Mom, her face going from angrily worried to very genuinely worried. Everyone's expression just changed as soon as they saw her face.

"We waited for you to get done with you work, Harper. My collegues really wanted to hear more about your writing." Said her father not completely soaking in the fact that Harper was in tears.

Her sisters remained quiet, probably just waiting for her to say anything.

Harper had enough over the past few days and specially after tonight.

"I...I lied. I didn't have a work thing." Said Harper her voice shaking, there was anger in it but mostly pain.

"Baby, please tell us what's going on? Look at you!" Said her Mom pointing at her clearly distressed look.

"I was dumped tonight by the love of my life because I was coward and an idiot. I swear that if I had known...that...this-" said Harper pointing at her heart. "-this would hurt so much, I would NEVER had hid for so long." Said Harper a sob escaping her.

"You were with someone?" Asked Jane softly. Harper knew Jane meant no harm.

"Yeah...I was..." Said Harper looking a bit lost in her thoughts. "I'm gay, Abby has been my long term girlfriend and she dumped me..." Said Harper looking up at her parents making eye contact.

She watched as disappointment and anger flashed through her father's eyes and her mother broke their gaze instead opting to look at her carpet.

She could watch her sisters look at her with pity.

"I loved her so much, yet I let myself hurt her because I wanted to be what you wanted me to be...even if it wasn't me." Said Harper wanting to tell her parents the truth, even if they refuse to speak with her ever again. "But I am done, love me or hate me. That's on you, not me." Said Harper before heading up stairs to pack her bags. 

She was gonna drive back to her apartment and see if she could catch her. Maybe even talk.

-  
Dec. 26

Harper was heading down stairs with her bags in hand. It was probably around 3:30am, she was tired but she needed to see Abby.

Just as she reached the bottom of the stairs she saw her mother and father sitting hudled up on the couch. They had coffee's in hand. Her mother noticed her.

"Honey, wait. We wanna talk you." Said her mother, she looked sad.

Harper felt her heart sink, she was afraid of what they might have to say. Despite herself, she made her way over to them and took a seat across them.

Her father hadn't looked up at her, she was quietly looking out of the glassdoor as her mother began to speak.

"We're sorry." Said her mother as a sobbed wracked her delicate frame forward. Harper immediately tensed up, this wasn't what she was expecting.

"All we've ever wanted was for you guys to be happy, that's what every p-parents wants." Continues her mother through sobs and tears. "Over time...we seemed to have forgotten that." Said her mother, her voice filled with regret.

For the longest time she'd feared admiting who she was to her parents that she'd never thought about the possibility of a positive outcome.

"Harper, baby." Spoke her father, looking at her for the first time since she came down stairs. "I love you more than you can ever imagine, I want you to experience the same happiness I have. No matter where that happiness comes from or from who." He was crying by the end.

-

Present moment 

Harper kissed Abby deeply as she turned them around, Abby was on her back and god... Harper missed Abby's warmth. She ran her hands down Abby's side hissing through her teeth as Abby kissed her neck roughly.

She suddenly felt Abby pull back, Harper looked down at her not sure as to what was going on.

Abby was breathing roughly as she looked into Harper's eyes. Harper searched her eyes for any explanation but Abby suddenly squirmed back   
And sat up. They were both clearly dishelved, Harper looking painfully confused and scared.

"Wha-What's wrong, baby?" Asked Harper tentatively placing a hand over Abby's thigh not wanting to feel a physical distance.

"Did you talk to your parents?" Asked Abby carefully looking a bit upset.

"Yes. Yes, I did." Said Harper crawling closer to Abby, enough to cup her face and make her look at her in the eyes.

"After we fought at the park, I went home to pack my bags. I wanted to make it to our apartment before you packed up your stuff. I told them how I felt and who I was and they...they accepted it. Surprisingly." Said Harper completely honest.

"But when I got to the apartment John was the one who came..." Finished Harper looking down at their hands.

"I wasn't in any position to see you." Said Abby barely above a whisper.

"...I know, baby." Said Harper knowing well that she'd hurt Abby. "I'm so sorry." Said Harper pulling Abby into a delicate kiss and stroking her cheek softly.

Harper felt Abby grab her tighter and pull her on top of her, Harper landed with her hand on Abby's sides as Abby laid with her head on the pillows. They looked into each other's eyes as they searched for any signs of regret or uncomfort.

"Don't make me wait." Said Abby as she pulled Harper down into a heated kiss.


End file.
